Life

I feel like using the word "stress" isn't really valid for my current state. My daughter is an unrelenting, back-talking, sassmaster. Usually I'm quick to yell, but I'm not feeling that way. I feel like the stealthy face-smacker. I want to smack that nasty attitude out of her mouth, but I'm not into touching them when I'm angry. I had to smack her for backtalking me once tonight and she's stopped. This was the FIRST time in so many weeks that she's stopped. I hate to make this a habit, but I also feel like if it works it works. Sad, scary, and disappointing...but apparently true.

We had Halloween Parties today and it was fun. The kids had a good time, but came home crazy and incapable of being calmed. So, while it was fun, it immediately became insane and therefore stressful. Blegh.

I'm feeling excessively blah. I drank an energy drink to put a hitch in my giddyup, but it did me zero good. In fact, I'm still tired. I've had my first big-girl week in the past five years or so...and I'm not sure if it's making me a moody hag or if I'm feeling excessively blah for another reason, but I'm super unimpressed. Yeah, that was code for "I'm raggin and it's pissin off on me". I was in a decent mood this morning before the stress of confused dates...then I was in a decent mood getting ready for the parties. Maybe the "ugh" situations since have put me in a funk, but I'm still not impressed.

Every night I seem to be a little less interested in cleaning and doing my dailies. I've got a bit of a messy house and laundry is getting a little piled up. I need to get on the ball with that but if it's not done during the day (which, the first part I try to spend with my husband since that's all I get for the day...and I thoroughly enjoy that so I'm not going to skip my time with him to clean) and I always seem to taper off in the afternoon, and before I know it it's time to pick up the kids from school and cleaning with them running around is (as we all know)a quite feeble goal. I'm a little spoiled, having them gone a few hours every day has made cleaning ridiculously easy. If I miss my cleaning time during the day however, I'm kinda out of luck. So, that's where I am. My house is a mess...I want to lay down on the couch and relax all night...and my kids can't seem to stop asking/begging/complaining from the time they wake up until the time they fall asleep (notice I didn't say until the time they go to bed...because they even get up after they go to bed to complain and whine and need things). So, I don't need time away, (I got a day away last weekend and OMG was it fabulous!!) but I do need some kick to my bum. I need a little more get-up-and-go and a little less lazy. I'm not sure how to make that happen...but I'm going to have to buckle down since the kids are off Friday (aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!). So, I'm off to try to be productive. I hope to get a better outlook on things super soon. I also need to get on my knees and talk to the big man about my attitude because I'm pretty sure he's not happy with my current behavior. I've got a lot of things to work out and I think that's bumming me also. Well, I guess the best way to fix it is to fix it...so I'm off to do that. Cheers!

Oh Wine...You Blew My Mind!

Let me just start off by saying....Holy Moly. Did I love wine before? Yeppers. Do I LOVE wine even more now? You bet your back end sister. It was stupid ridiculous good. We went to four wineries, received a glass at each and 5 wine testers at each as well. Turns out I'm a huge fan of sweet blush wines, and dessert wines of all types. I knew I wasn't a big dry wine fan, but there were a couple that I didn't hate. The setting was gorgeous, the time of year was perfect, the trip was awesome. We had such a great time. I look forward to going again.

Fair Reporting? Pssshhhht

I understand that finding all of the story isn't as easy as one could assume...but I also know that if you're only reporting hearsay, you need to have your butt kicked off the team. Seriously? You must be a newbie, because you only interviewed one moron and acted like you've gone far in your career. Congrats, you interviewed one of the many deadbeats on the job that doesn't DESERVE his job and would happily be screwed over to keep his job since no other jobs would let him screw off as much as he does at work. However, while you're talking to Dummy McStupidpants, the real hard-working guys who voted to NOT be shafted in the small amount of time they have left did so for good reason. Did you look into the reasons that they might've voted against losing out on thousands of dollars they already are in contract for? Especially when they're going to lose their jobs in a few short years anyway? If they voted yes, the company would make over 100,000,000,000 in the next 5-7 years...which is how much it's going to cost them to move. So, voting to take a pay cut to make their move free is a pretty stupid idea. They're under contract and don't have to take a pay cut as the contract was negotiated this way. Voting NO didn't take away jobs, it took away pocket padding for the CEO. Also, you don't seem to understand that they're losing their jobs no matter what they vote...you reported that this vote made the jobs go away and that's quite false. You must've been getting your information from the corporation that's trying to screw over it's employees before it LEAVES THE STATE ANYWAY! Also, the state has paid them almost 6 figures to stay here. Money our state doesn't have, but gave away freely over more hearsay. The company is still moving, but blaming the move on this vote just made your workers look dumb and the fat-cat company look better. Thanks for that truth in reporting. It was super. I'll be sure to take all of my news stories with a grain of salt from now on.

Happy Birthday Sissy!

My big sister Annie's birthday is Tuesday, but since we live so far apart we got together tonight for a birthday dinner. We all go to be there and I had a wonderful time. I find that when I attend church I feel more thankful for the blessings in my life and I count today as one of them. I got to talk with people about important things, I got to see my family and have important conversations, I got to wish my big sister another happy year, and we all got safely home. I'm sure there are many more mini-miracles I'm leaving out because I've been so contented with the others I observed. Not to be cheesy, but today is one of those days. I am thankful for many things, and one of those things is the terribly obnoxious pain-in-the-arse big sister I have who has enjoyed another year of life. Thank the Lord for her. Happy Birthday Sissy. God Bless.

Craftiness

This week I made a wreath I discovered on another blogger's site. It's ridiculously cool. I'm not usually one to do things without assistance of someone more experienced, but I went for it with this wreath and I kind of love it. After I made the wreath pretty darn well, I got a little edgy and decided to go rogue and make one of my own without any insight from anyone/anything/anywhere and I love it too. I'm not good about creating things when I'm not sure how they'll turn out. I hate to waste things if I screw up and I'm such a perfectionist that failure is generally eminent. However, this week I've beaten my odds and I've gotta say I'm pretty proud of myself. Sure, in the grand scheme of things my wreaths are mediocre at best. Obviously novice...but they're mine. I made them, all by myself like a big girl and ya know what? That's a big deal for me. I usually don't even bother, but I did take initiative and I even went as far as to succeed. Go me! So, here's to baby steps, small victories, and change in small ways that effect the bigger picture.

Halloween

I hear that some people don't allow their children to participate in Halloween and that makes me sad. Not only is it NOT a devil-worshiping thing, (btw, I find that excuse to be excessively IGNORANT and retarded as well as blind and closed-minded) but making something like a publicly recognized "holiday" bad for your family is only perpetuating negativity that is somehow manifested itself in your closed mind. I don't believe that you should celebrate a holiday just because it's common, but I also don't believe that you should make something terrible out of a harmless holiday. If I'm perfectly honest with myself and everyone else, I don't know the complete back story of Halloween and where it came from, but I can tell you it's not to celebrate the devil. I'm also sure that it's a religious holiday that's evolved into a children's holiday. When I was growing up, my two favorite holidays were Christmas (I'm pretty sure that's for obvious reasons) and Halloween. My specific reason for loving Halloween was because "I can be whatever I want on that one day a year". I feel like that's what Halloween is, it's a day to be whatever you want and enjoy yourself. Sure, trick-or-treating is technically begging and I can understand why parents wouldn't enjoy doing that. I don't enjoy the trick-or-treating, but I feel like going to the homes of friends and family to show off and get candy in return is enjoyable for the kids. I think that putting any weight in negative thoughts on the holiday is only ensuring that those negative thoughts are perpetuated by our youth, which I also find completely unnecessary. So, if you don't want to trick-or-treat, don't. If you don't want to celebrate, don't. But for the love of pete, let your kids enjoy it. What's it going to hurt? I mean, if their friends are drawing chalk pentagrams on buildings and dancing naked in the woods with pig blood all over them, then by all means keep your kids away from them. I get that. Otherwise, let the flippin' day be enjoyed! Happy Halloween ya weirdos!

Self Destruct

A friend of mine posted on fb, "I've always got my finger on the self-destruct button" and it got me thinking. I feel like I'm a goalie trying to keep people away from my self-destruct button. Perhaps that no longer makes it a "self"-destruct button, but you know what I mean. I don't feel like I'm on the verge of being my own demise, I feel like I'm continuously trying to keep other people from setting me off. I'm not a loaded keg, but there are times when I feel like there are so many things out there trying to sabotage my happiness. Circumstances beyond my control (obviously for the moment, if I would have always keep my path clean I'd not have anything to come back and ruin my day later). Life's little curve balls seem to be attacking me from all sides and I feel like it's all I can do to protect my self-destruct button. I know that I'm always in control, but when things spin me off my axis I feel like a mess. Perhaps, I need to be on top of my game and prevent anything from "coming back to haunt me" so to speak...however, doing so is far more difficult than it seems. However, I'm working on it. I hate to say I'm looking over my shoulder, because I'm not. I look forward and I'm hoping to clean up some of the mess I've left in my wake. Until then, I'm going to stay on top of my game and prevent any more ripples in my calm pool. Self-destruct button? Pfft. More like, button that's going to piss me off. Many have pissed me off, many more will before it's over with. Bring it on, I'm knocking the b.s. out of my way at every turn. You can piss me off and ruin my day...but you're not going to throw me off my game. I'm going to succeed, I'm going to win, I'm going to do good for myself and my family. However, for the 'greater good', I suggest we keep the pissing me off to a minimum. Just a thought.

Undercover Comments

Do you ever want to make a new email account solely for the purpose of commenting appropriately on your own blogs? I mean, sure, it's terribly sad and super cheese-tastic...but hey, that's just how I feel sometimes. Not that I need "appropriate" comments because any are inappropriate, I have a blatant lack of comments...which is to be expected on the third day of blogging without lots of blogger pals to join your blogging blogginess. However, I'm just saying...it'd be enjoyable to have fun comments on my posts and I'm thinking it'd be even more fun to comment myself. Sure, that's a super dorky thought. However, like I've previously stated...I'm dorktastic and fully aware of my status as such. If you feel me comment. Hahaha. I crack me up.

To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the star appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

So, you're not busy...right?

Nope, I'm not busy. In fact, most of my time is fairly free now that the kiddoes are in school all day. However, when it rains it pours. Generally nothing is going on, but when something IS going on, someone always wants/needs/desires me to be somewhere to take care of something that I'd rather not be doing/taking care of. Then, of course, to top it all off...my lovely husband just HAPPENS to be off on the one day that someone DESPERATELY needs me to do something for them that could absolutely wait another day...but no, it's a dire necessity to be done asap. Why? Because they'll have a bloody conniption fit if it's not. Why? Because they're terribly needy obnoxious people and that's just the way it is. Sometimes, I could drop-kick them in the gaping wastelands of their nether-regions, but where would that get me? Nowhere I want to be...least of all, knee deep in the abyss of someone else's nether-regions. Blegh. Gross visual. At any rate, I so wish people would realize that my life isn't on their time schedule. Then, once they're adamantly insisted that something be done on their time-frame, they call and make sure that I've not changed my mind....as if I had the option to tell you to bug off in the first place? Stop calling, I'll be there. I always am. So, unless you're doing something blindingly wonderful for me...piss off. I've got things to do before I waste my time with you. Mkay? Good, glad we had that chat.

Winds of Change...

Since it's been what seems like forever since I've been blogging, I'm updating and changing some stuff. I'm kinda glad to do it and personalize. I'll be making some changes and hopefully when I'm done I'll be back on top of my game.

New Car Smell

Here I am again! I've been a blogger before and after a completely accidental blog deletion (oh, my poor posts) I find myself a newcomer again. I'm not a good, loyal blogger as I should be...however, I am here! I'm a scatterbrained, worrisome mommy with creative thoughts and an overwhelmed brain. I hope to share enjoyable musings, thoughts, crafts, pictures, and the like. We'll see what I can come up with. Cheers to a new blog and a new outlook on blogging!