Life

I feel like using the word "stress" isn't really valid for my current state. My daughter is an unrelenting, back-talking, sassmaster. Usually I'm quick to yell, but I'm not feeling that way. I feel like the stealthy face-smacker. I want to smack that nasty attitude out of her mouth, but I'm not into touching them when I'm angry. I had to smack her for backtalking me once tonight and she's stopped. This was the FIRST time in so many weeks that she's stopped. I hate to make this a habit, but I also feel like if it works it works. Sad, scary, and disappointing...but apparently true.

We had Halloween Parties today and it was fun. The kids had a good time, but came home crazy and incapable of being calmed. So, while it was fun, it immediately became insane and therefore stressful. Blegh.

I'm feeling excessively blah. I drank an energy drink to put a hitch in my giddyup, but it did me zero good. In fact, I'm still tired. I've had my first big-girl week in the past five years or so...and I'm not sure if it's making me a moody hag or if I'm feeling excessively blah for another reason, but I'm super unimpressed. Yeah, that was code for "I'm raggin and it's pissin off on me". I was in a decent mood this morning before the stress of confused dates...then I was in a decent mood getting ready for the parties. Maybe the "ugh" situations since have put me in a funk, but I'm still not impressed.

Every night I seem to be a little less interested in cleaning and doing my dailies. I've got a bit of a messy house and laundry is getting a little piled up. I need to get on the ball with that but if it's not done during the day (which, the first part I try to spend with my husband since that's all I get for the day...and I thoroughly enjoy that so I'm not going to skip my time with him to clean) and I always seem to taper off in the afternoon, and before I know it it's time to pick up the kids from school and cleaning with them running around is (as we all know)a quite feeble goal. I'm a little spoiled, having them gone a few hours every day has made cleaning ridiculously easy. If I miss my cleaning time during the day however, I'm kinda out of luck. So, that's where I am. My house is a mess...I want to lay down on the couch and relax all night...and my kids can't seem to stop asking/begging/complaining from the time they wake up until the time they fall asleep (notice I didn't say until the time they go to bed...because they even get up after they go to bed to complain and whine and need things). So, I don't need time away, (I got a day away last weekend and OMG was it fabulous!!) but I do need some kick to my bum. I need a little more get-up-and-go and a little less lazy. I'm not sure how to make that happen...but I'm going to have to buckle down since the kids are off Friday (aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!). So, I'm off to try to be productive. I hope to get a better outlook on things super soon. I also need to get on my knees and talk to the big man about my attitude because I'm pretty sure he's not happy with my current behavior. I've got a lot of things to work out and I think that's bumming me also. Well, I guess the best way to fix it is to fix it...so I'm off to do that. Cheers!